Newberry's Community Circus:
Big Top Edition

Posted: January 21, 2024
Newberry Springs Community Alliance
by Ted Stimpfel

    Hey folks, grab your popcorn and cotton candy, because the Newberry CSD is back in town with another monthly dazzling display of... well, dysfunction.

    But hold your horses, buckaroos, 'cause this ain't just another rant!  We got some juicy news for the January 23rd CSD meetin'. Thanks to newcomer director Mike Matson, the clowns are finally considerin' hirin' a fancy accountin' firm to untangle the district's financial mess, which looks worse than a coyote tangled in barbed wire.

    This ain't your average government meeting, it's the Newberry Community Circus, where clowns juggle financial numbers (badly), fire dancers (the volunteer firefighters, bless their souls) teeter on a budget tightrope, and where the former GM ringmaster (Jodi Howard) cracks the circus whip in absentee with spiteful litigation.

    Today's star attraction? A proposed brand spankin' new financial audit!  After years of juggling flaming chainsaws (aka district funds), the CSD clowns are finally going to seriously discuss whether to call in the barking accountants.

    Now, this might cost a pretty penny, nearly enough to fuel the fire department for a partial year, but hey, the CSD directors gotta clean up their messy act before they can throw another grant pie at the audience.

    Most of these board members, they're good folks, the kind you'd share a beer with.  But 'n government?  That's like asking your dentist to perform heart surgery.  No bueno!  Yet, here we are, election after election, with the citizens of Newberry Springs voting for these unqualified clowns to handle their tax dollars. It's enough to make you tap dance on your porch in frustration.

    But hold it, folks! This proposed audit, it's a chance for a grand finale, a spotlight on the financial magic tricks of the past. We'll see how those juggling numbers really add up, and maybe even reveal some hidden rabbits in the hat (hopefully not metaphorical ones, those things multiply like crazy).

    And don't forget Jodi Howard, the dismissed ringmaster who has sued the circus for emotional stress and, uh, "other things"?  Yeah, she's the one who secretly moonlighted as the ringmaster in another circus (the Daggett CSD, for those who were home playing bingo). She claims that she was stressed out, poor thing.  Me, I think her claim is about as solid as a beach sandcastle in a hurricane.

    Stinky. Yep, I smell something fishy, like a clown car full of red herrings. This Howard lawsuit sounds like her signature disappearing act: smoke and mirrors to distract from the real show, her performance as general manager. Perhaps the proposed audit will mirror a reflection of her performance.

    Now, if this audit goes down like I think it will, it's gonna be a clown car crash of epic proportions. Procedural errors galore, blame flying like juggling pins, and maybe even a tear or two from the former GM (but don't worry, her makeup is waterproof).

    I'm betting an audit will be juicier than a plate of ribs at the county fair. And if it turns out Jodi was playing fast and loose with the numbers, well, let's just say the oversight board of directors better have their fast clown shoes on.

    So grab your seats, folks, the Newberry Community Circus is back in town, and this time, the clowns just might choke on the popcorn.

    Please take this news reporting commentary with a healthy dose of humor and a grain of salt, preferably with a margarita under the desert sky.

Newberry CSD's Agenda for January 23, 2024

    The agenda below was e-mailed to me. It had been posted on the bulletin board at the Post Office. It was reported to have been found on the ground in the wind and rain on Saturday night. It was also reported to have been cleaned, dryed, scotch taped, scanned, (e-mailed to me), and replaced on the bulletin board.

(Click to enlarge.)

 The clown act continues! 

    As of Sunday, January 21, 2024, 6:00 P.M., the Newberry CSD's agenda for the January 23rd General Meeting was NOT posted on the Newberry CSD's website!  OUCH!  Amateur clown hour.

    According to California Government Code § 54954.2(a)(2)(A) (posted below), the CSD is in direct violation of the Brown Act's 72-hour posting notice requirement.

    The CSD is not compliant to hold a legal general meeting on January 23rd. Any action taken by the board at such meeting can be nullified at the CSD's expense.

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